I Kissed Christianity Goodbye

If you were a part of the "in crowd" of Christianity during the late 90's and early 2000's, you mostly likely are familiar with the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. You may have read this book. You may have attempted to model the message of this book. You may still have this book in your collection.

Being raised in a religious and homeschool household, it was not uncommon for me to be at the mercy of the latest sacred trend. For example: Kids during this era were taught it was ok to use the furthest reaching of your imagination concerning the spirit world if you were Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins penning the Left Behind series but it was blatantly blasphemous to use your imagination concerning the spirit world if you were J. K. Rowling telling of a boy named Harry Potter. Both series of literature were fiction. Both came from the imagination of authors. One deemed righteous by the conservative world, one deemed wrong. 

It is this temperature of cultural Christianity which sets the sinister stage for the arrival of the righteous relationship guide "I Kissed Dating Goodbye." A Christian cult-classic from the start, Harris' how-to book on how-not-to date simply provided the American church world with one more thing of which to be wary. To be fair, some good thoughts were presented within the pages but the overall theme of the book was religious ritual. Ideals which are ultra-conservative and utterly confusing. 

The American Christian circle, however, has long since defined itself by "don'ts" rather than "do's." Don't listen to rock music. Don't get a tattoo. Don't watch an R-rated film unless Jesus stars in it (which He did in 2004). Adding "don't date" to the ever-growing list of forbidden fruit for the followers was a concern of very few. 

Fast-forward to 2019: Joshua Harris, a former pastor, has divorced his wife, retracted the views which were printed in "I Kissed Dating Goodbye," and has publicly renounced Christianity. According to the author's personal Instagram, 

"I have undergone a massive shift in regard to my faith in Jesus. The popular phrase for this is 'deconstruction,' the biblical phrase is 'falling away.' By all the measurements that I have for defining a Christian, I am not a Christian. Many people tell me that there is a different way to practice faith and I want to remain open to this, but I'm not there now."

Many in the Christian world were taken by surprise at such a blatant shift in belief. Was I surprised? Not as much. You see, the rigorous rule keeping of the self-righteous is a daunting task. Especially when you consider the fact that scripture teaches no one is righteous (Ps. 14:3; Rom. 3:10). We've all fallen short of God's desires (Rom. 3:23) and we all deserve eternal death (Rom. 6:23). 

The Pharisees of Jesus' time knew all the rules and devoted themselves to the latest sacred trend. Jesus referred to their religious rituals as a heavy, cumbersome load (Mt. 23:4) and He instructed His followers "do not do what they do" (Mt. 23:3). Jesus went on to call the the rule-following Pharisees hypocrites, children of hell, fools, whitewashed tombs, and a brood of vipers (Mt. 23). Apparently following rules is not following Jesus.

Now am I saying there are no clear commands or guidelines to which the believer must adhere? Of course not. But there is a tremendous difference between living a particular lifestyle in order to obtain the heavenly Father's love and living the same exact lifestyle because you know the heavenly Father loves you. One lifestyle flows from a load you carry while the other from a love you possess. One is coined religion, the the other is considered a relationship. One path leads to eternal death, the other to eternal life (Mt. 7:21-23; Eph. 2:8-9).

My challenge to you:  Worry more about the biblical "do's" than the "don'ts."

Ask yourself these questions:

• Do I talk with God throughout the day? (1 Thess. 5:17)
• Do I read the Bible daily? (Ps. 119:9-11, 105)
• Do I gather with other believers regularly? (Heb. 10:25)
• Do I strive to hold to Christ and love others? (Jn. 15:1-17)

If you can truly answer "yes" to the above questions, you (and those around you) will begin to experience the fruit of the Spirit being produced in and through your life. One evidence of the Spirit moving in your life is self-control (Gal. 5:22-23). If the Sprit of God is truly changing you from the inside out, you will find yourself slowly but surely avoiding the "don'ts" subconsciously, for darkness does not associate with the light.

Ritualistically following rigid rules will never lead you into a loving, life-changing relationship with the Father.

It didn't for Joshua Harris and it won't for you either.